Last-Ditch Marital Counseling & Therapy

Melanie Wells

LPC, LMFT, LPC & LMFT Supervisor

After eight long years of rock-busting in conventional counseling practices, Melanie Wells founded The LifeWorks Group in 1999 to offer clients a fresh, innovative approach to the everyday problems of life. Since that inauspicious beginning (we had two pleather chairs, a broken copier and about $7 in the bank) LifeWorks has trained hundreds of interns and helped tens of thousands... Read More

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Is Our Marriage Salvageable? Or Should I Start Programming Divorce Lawyers Into My Smartphone?

By the time that most couples reach the “last-ditch” therapy stage, they have been working tirelessly for years to “save” their marriage—with very few successes to tack behind their names … and a slew of failures. The “flops” often include:

  • Pouring over self-help books that guarantee to solve complicated relationship problems (only to offer up painfully simplistic advice)
  • Meeting with a string of marriage counselors who exhaust inordinate amounts of time beating to death the same “dead horse” relationship issues
  • Using “milestones”—such as purchasing a home or having a baby—as a substitute or distraction from addressing underlying problems
  • Wasting time practicing communication exercises when you have bigger relationship fish to fry, like infidelity, spousal addiction, lingering resentment, or a sexless marriage
  • Hoping that taking a leave of absence will make the heart grow fonder… only to inadvertently “renew” your irritation
  • Unconsciously misusing self-care measures, or “me” time, as an avoidance tactic to dodge nightly fights with your partner (This differs from actual “me” time, which can be considered mutually beneficial or “relationship fortifying”)

 

It’s no surprise that by the time our last-ditch couples reach our doorstep, their optimism levels for resuscitating their marriage rival that of a heart monitor’s ominous flatlining.

And yet… as ironic as it may seem, we’ve found that these “lost cause”, “last-ditch”, and “flatlining” couples still have an excellent chance for success. After all, they’ve been through hell and back, and they’re STILL trying. Persevering when all the odds are stacked against your favor? Now that indicates high levels of motivation and marital commitment—two successful qualities in a marriage that no therapist can supply.

So, if you’ve attempted marriage counseling several times before only to report that “it didn’t help” or “it didn’t work”, don’t lose hope! We’re here to tell you that although “it” didn’t work, your marriage still can!

Instead of endeavoring to bail out a barge with a leaky bucket, with a little creativity, we can help you to rebuild the entire ship!

How Can Last-Ditch Marital Counseling Help Us?

Sometimes it’s easiest to answer that question by first telling you the things that last-ditch martial counseling doesn’t purpose to do–although our answer may initially surprise you.

Last-ditch marital counseling doesn’t aim to “save” your marriage. In fact, we aren’t interested in salvaging a bunch of worn-out parts that you’d be better off scrapping for metal and cutting your losses.

Instead, we’re interested in recasting your marriage, so that it’s healthy, thriving, satisfying, and sustainable.

We’ve found that couples at this stage of the game have typically been laboring for years to solve the wrong sort of problems. And that’s in part because the marital therapy that these couples have previously encountered elected only to focus on superficial evidence of major faults in the marriage. No surprise there that the therapy didn’t work! The entire process was doomed before it even began. After all… communication exercises can’t be expected to fix deep marital issues any more than paint can transform a shack into a load-bearing structure!

Instead, rejuvenating your marriage calls for a more resilient foundation. And, that’s where we come in: Our therapists aren’t trained to harp on your relationship defects; instead we work to help you enhance your existing strengths and to expand upon your arsenal of relationship assets.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t get our hands dirty and simply ignore the “difficult” subjects (like infidelity or spousal addiction); but we do like to think about ourselves more as “reinvention” specialists than as “rehashing-your-uncomfortable-past” mediators.

Marriage counseling is never easy—but it should feel like pulling teeth either! Let our collaborative team of 30+ counselors perform all the behind scenes dirty work to help resolve your “stuck” marital problem—today!

The Lifeologie Difference

Creativity

A creative, multi-specialty approach to life’s inevitable difficulties.

Collaboration

Collaborative care from a team you can trust.

Client Focused

A comfortable, client-centered environment.

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