Anger is nothing more than a feeling. Nothing dangerous about it. We all get angry sometimes. But when that anger gets out of control – that’s when you’ve got a problem on your hands. When anger turns to aggression it’s time to get some help.
If you yourself are in danger, please seek safety immediately – with friends, family or in a shelter – and seek help immediately!
Do you know anyone with an anger management problem?
Characteristics of angry people
- staring and glaring
- interrupts others
- verbal aggression – raising voice, cursing, yelling, name-calling, criticism, coercion, threatening, sarcasm, mockery
- physical aggression – pointing, biting, kicking, scratching, punching, throwing things, shoving, choking, holding down or trapping
- passive aggressive behavior – indirect aggression – manipulation of circumstances
- excessive grudge-holding – especially for perceived slights or wrongs
- punitive silence or withdrawal
There are five basic types of aggressive anger
- volcanic– when they blow, they blow and it’s not pretty
- self-contained – quietly turns anger to resentment judgmental – quick to express anger and moral outrage
- grudge-holder – slow to anger but, once angry, equally slow to forgive and forget
- silent rager – often angry and expresses anger through hostility and silence
Look for these behaviors to decide if you or someone you knows has an anger management problem
- near-constant interpersonal conflict
- a need to maintain power and control
- stress-related medical problems
- negative evaluation by others
- inability to keep relationships – constant cycle of estrangement
- physical assaults
- family violence – violence toward spouse or children or both
- altercations with the law
- occupational dissatisfaction
- inappropriate risk-taking
- alcohol and other drug use
- serious crimes – incarceration for violent behavior
Anger is a secondary emotion – often covering up shame, pain, guilt, loneliness or fear. With therapy, you can
- learn the anatomy of anger
- work towards cognitive restructuring of anger emotion
- become aware of your physiological process (how your body responds)
- understand your specific type of anger and the root cause
- learn to control and manage outbursts
- develop healthy coping mechanisms for anger
- improve and enhance your relationships
- decrease stress and frustration
- improve health and well-being
If you or someone you know has an anger management problem, it is important to get help right away.
LifeWorks can help with anger management problems and the resulting consequences – consequences that often affect the entire family. Give us a call today and let us help you break this cycle.