Divorce Counseling & Therapy

Melanie Wells

LPC, LMFT, LPC & LMFT Supervisor

After eight long years of rock-busting in conventional counseling practices, Melanie Wells founded The LifeWorks Group in 1999 to offer clients a fresh, innovative approach to the everyday problems of life. Since that inauspicious beginning (we had two pleather chairs, a broken copier and about $7 in the bank) LifeWorks has trained hundreds of interns and helped tens of thousands... Read More

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When Is “Love” Not Enough?

If only love and compatibility were one and the same thing! Some of the toughest breakups occur when two people love each other unambiguously; but simply cannot make it work.

Part of the difficulty is that we’re taught—merci beaucoup, Hollywood! —to believe that love should always work.

But, in reality: Love doesn’t always overcome. Not when your partner is on a crash course for self-destruction. Not when your relationship trains a spotlight onto the “worst you”. And, not when a source of deep hurt advances into incurable bitterness.

There are also times when a couple parts with very little—if any—love left. That’s also a challenge: watching your former best friend transform into a wellspring of seething hatred—especially, when children are concerned. (If love can make many a rational person stoop to hacking emails, imagine what hurt can do!)

There are also many shades of grief that settle in between.

Regardless of how your grief presents—anger, fear, shame, sadness, loneliness, guilt, or relief—divorce adjustment tends to follow three distinct phases of healing: Initial Devastation; Gradual Recovery; and Ultimate Renewal.

  • Initial Devastation:
    • A catastrophic sense of loss akin to grief or trauma
    • Feeling as though everything in your life is in a state of flux
    • Sensations of disorientation or numbness
    • Anxiety, depression, loss of motivation, confusion, or anger
    • A sense of failure (for being unable to make the relationship work); or of worthlessness (because your partner “gave up” on you)
  • Gradual Recovery:
    • Nightmarish feelings of betrayal begin to subside
    • Decisions become less agonizing and fantasies about revenge seem less enticing
    • You allow yourself to grieve: panic and hysteria are reprocessed as grief and loss
    • You embark on a journey of self-exploration, accepting new possibilities into your life
  • Ultimate Renewal:
    • Characterized by personal and spiritual growth
    • Excitement about putting down new roots
    • An interest in dating and relationships
    • A desire to reclaim lost dreams or cultivate new ambitions

 

Breaking up is hard to do. Every individual will experience these stages at his or her own rate. But, at Lifeologie, it’s our mission to ensure that you don’t have to overcome loss or achieve self-discovery on your own. Our team of family counseling and divorce experts is here to help you find that elusive door to recovery and realize the courage to walk through it!

The Lifeologie Difference

Creativity

A creative, multi-specialty approach to life’s inevitable difficulties.

Collaboration

Collaborative care from a team you can trust.

Client Focused

A comfortable, client-centered environment.

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