Codependency is a word lots of people toss around. Yet most people don’t REALLY know what it means – or how to tell if they’re codependent. This is where codependency counseling can help.
What’s the difference between being a nice, thoughtful person and a codependent person? Motivation, primarily. Motivation is the cutoff point—particularly in the context of social, romantic, and family relationships. When kindness is really manipulation; when you find yourself trying to control someone else’s feelings instead of being responsible for your own; when acts of selflessness become mutually destructive, for the giver and the recipient alike – these are all signs of codependency.
Simply put, codependency is broadly recognized as an addiction to caretaking, and the “caretaking” may involve any manner of relationship that is unhealthy—and even mutually destructive. For codependents, “our thinking is our drinking.” Codependency is marked by constant anxiety and worry about other people’s feelings, contagious moods, “your problems are my problems” – and a relentless drive to take responsibility for things over which you really have no control.