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Can Marriage Counseling Help Us?

By the time that most couples reach the last-ditch marital counseling stage, they have been working tirelessly for years to save their marriage. They feel exhausted, hopeless and confused.

Typically, salvage efforts have involved

  • Pouring over self-help books that offer solutions for complicated relationship problems (only to offer up painfully simplistic advice)
  • Meeting with a string of unhelpful counselors whose trite techniques don’t touch the deepest causes of your struggle
  • Using “milestones”—such as purchasing a home or having a baby—as a substitute or distraction from addressing underlying problems
  • Wasting time practicing communication exercises when you have bigger relationship fish to fry – like infidelity, spousal addiction, lingering resentment, or a sexless marriage
  • Hoping that a leave of absence will make the heart grow fonder… only to find that you’re still lonely and confused
  • Unconsciously misusing self-care measures, or “me” time, as an tactic to dodge nightly interactions with your partner
  • Avoiding real communication about the difficult and sensitive things that make or break a relationship

Is Our Marriage Salvageable? Or Should I Start Programming Divorce Lawyers Into My Smartphone?

It’s no surprise that by the time last-ditch couples reach our doors, their optimism levels for resuscitating their marriage is thready at best.

And yet we’ve found that “last-ditch couples have an excellent chance for success. After all, they’ve been through hell and back, and they’re STILL trying. Persevering when all the odds are stacked against you? Now that indicates high levels of motivation and marital commitment—two successful qualities in a marriage that no therapist can supply.

So, if you’ve attempted marriage counseling several times before only to report that “it didn’t help” or “it didn’t work,” don’t lose hope! We’re here to tell you that although “it” didn’t work, your marriage still can!

How Can Last-Ditch Marital Counseling Help Us?

Sometimes it’s easiest to answer that question by first telling you the things that last-ditch martial counseling won’t do.

Last-ditch marriage counseling doesn’t aim to save your marriage. Instead, we’re interested in building a better marriage — one that is healthy, thriving, satisfying, and sustainable.

We’ve found that couples at this stage have typically been laboring for years to solve the wrong set of problems. Typical marital therapy focuses on superficial evidence of major faults in the marriage. No surprise there that the therapy didn’t work!  The entire process was doomed before it even began.

Instead, recreating a better marriage calls for a more resilient foundation. Our therapists will work to help you enhance your existing strengths and to expand upon your arsenal of relationship assets. Two healthy people in a healthy relationship – that’s our goal.

Good marriage counselors are willing to get their hands dirty and deal with difficult issues like infidelity or spousal abuse.

Marriage counseling is never easy. In fact, if it is, you’re probably not doing the work.

Anyone can STAY married.  BEING married is a different matter entirely. A citizenship of equals, two whole people uniting in a strong healthy relationship – this is what constitutes a successful marriage.

Let Lifeologie marriage counselors help you get there!