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What is talked about in premarital counseling?!

Check out this video of Rosann Raftery, LLPC, LLMFT from our Lifeologie Counseling Grand Rapids location for more on the ins & outs of premarital counseling. A summary of the video content is found beneath the video. Also, check out “Pre-Marital Counseling and why you need it.

Premarital Counseling Part 2

Giving you all Part 2 of Premarital Counseling and some topics that are addressed during the process! Check it out and let me know what you experienced!!!

Posted by Rosann Raftery, Marriage and Family Therapist on Tuesday, February 12, 2019


Here are the frequently discussed topics in Pre-Marital counseling that will help you and your partner build a strong foundation for the rest of your lives:

  • Cohabitation, which is moving in together, and living together. This period can be a little difficult for couples, but it is also common. You and your partner are trying to figure out new roles, routines, and chores around your home. Also, you might be trying to figure out decor at your home — what you like, what your partner likes, and different styles you might have.
  • Career goals for each partner. What does it look like if one person in the relationship wants to further his or her career and that means going back to school? How does the couple address student debt that might occur or does that partner take it on themselves? What happens if there is a possibility of relocating for a job? Is that doable in the relationship?
  • Finances, and what do they look like in your relationship? Meaning — Will you and your partner be combining accounts? What does savings look like for you and your partner? What types of spending habits to either of you have? Will you be addressing debt together? Premarital counseling helps address these tougher topics and opens up the conversation. As clinicians, we are ready to talk about these things as well as assist you and your partner with creating a realistic, long term or short term, financial plan.
  • Sex. This can be a topic that is more difficult for couples to talk about. Sex is usually great early in the relationship when you’re in the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship. But, what will it look like years later? What does it look like when you’re married, have young children, working in your career, and involved with school activities? What will sex mean to you and your partner then?
  • Along with sex comes infidelity and fidelity. What are each person’s views on it? Is infidelity flirting with someone while you’re out with friends? Or talking intimately with someone else that your partner doesn’t really know? Premarital counseling helps to open up these conversations and assists couples with navigating these things. It can be uncomfortable to discuss, but it is our job, as clinicians, to make you feel as comfortable as possible.
  • Kids and parenting. Do you and your partner want to have kids? Is this something that you’ve talked about? How many kids do you want or how many does your partner want? What types of parenting styles and techniques will be used to raise your kids? What are you and your partner’s views on schooling for your kids, and even college?
  • Spirituality. How does this play into your relationship? Do you and your partner have similar views or not? Are you going to include this in your relationship? What things are you willing to bend on versus not, such as going to church on holidays or not at all if your partner has opposite beliefs?
  • Extended family. If you’re getting married, chances are that you will most likely have in-laws. This can be complicated at times. What are the holidays going to look like for your families? Are you going to your partner’s and then finding time for your family functions? What will you and your partner’s overall family functions look like?
  • Conflict. This is probably the most important topic that comes up. How do you and your partner address conflict when it happens? Because well…. It happens! For example, is one person shutting down when conflict occurs so nothing is being addressed? Premarital counseling helps couples develop healthy communication skills so they are able to discuss all of these topics as well as learn to understand each other.

Again, contact our office to get into premarital counseling to help you and your partner strengthen your relationship for the long road!