Are you in love or do you love? One is a state of being the other is an action. Frequently, couples determine they are no longer “in love” when in reality they have forgotten how to love each other. Stress, work problems, family issues, sexuality and more can impede our ability to love another, or yourself for that matter.
Working with a licensed marriage counselor (an LMFT) can help you and your partner identify what is getting in the way of your love for one another or why one, or both of you, have strayed.
There are reasons you decided to get married and there are reasons to stay married. It may be that what is coming between you now is too difficult to identify. Perhaps, even, one or both of you want to avoid facing it, whatever it is, head on. This avoidance of reality and lack of communication is the primary reason many couples part ways. Without communication, one can not love for this is the means of expression for us mere mortals.
Many men may not want to attend couples therapy, preferring to “work it out” together, aka alone. While this may seem to be the strong way to pursue shoring up the breaches in the dam that is holding your marriage together, without an impartial, professional mediator, the “working it out” may spiral out of control into more arguments. Ultimately, making what was a bad situation worse.
Since “to love” is an action, even in the hardest times love requires you both to step out of your comfort zones. To move forward, you have to work through the problems. Letting them stew is a recipe for disaster and could ultimately destroy a beautiful relationship. Working with a professional counselor is the best approach to resolving the conflict and strengthening the bond between the two of you.
If you and your spouse are struggling in your relationship, reach out to a marriage counselor. Lifeologie Counseling Oak Cliff has several available for appointments. Call us, or someone, but take action.