Marriage Counseling

Is Marriage Counseling Right For Us?

Marriage counseling is not always a 911 situation. On average, most couples let a problem fester for six years before seeking therapy. Wise couples seek help before things get out of hand.  At Lifeologie, we can help you navigate all aspects of romantic relationships – pre-engagement, pre-marital, married, remarried and trying to STAY married – to help turn things around.

We handle all stages of a relationship for both straight and same-gender couples:

• dating – how to notice the deal-breakers and what makes someone a keeper
• early relationship – considering moving further
• committed relationship – cohabitation and commitment
• life cycle transitions – kids coming, kids going, career changes – this all happens in the middle!
• blended families – remarriage and co-parenting – parenting as a team
• late-stage marital – empty nest issues, aging parents
• last-ditch marital – when you feel like you’ve tried everything and are just about out of gas.

We have specialists who can help you with each of these concerns.

Common concerns addressed in Marriage Counseling

1. Premarital Counseling

So, you two haven’t tied the knot yet… but there are still some kinks to work out? Premarital counseling can help you articulate your expectations for the marriage, enhance your level of intimacy, and iron out unresolved past conflicts.

2. The Honeymoon period

When a relationship first begins, people tend to put their best foot forward.  As we get more comfortable, we let the facade slip little by little. And we take off the rose-colored glasses. The moment the honeymoon ends is often also the moment couples get real. Marriage counseling can help you conquer the honesty hurdle and ease you into the next phase of your relationship.

3. Communication & Listening

Most couples cite communication as the primary reason they seek therapy.  Typically poor communication is an indicator of fragile connection. Fortunately, marriage counseling can avert unnecessary disagreements and help couples improve listening and conflict skills, leading to a lasting connection.

4. Financial Squabbles

Most married couples have shared assets and expenses: shared bank accounts, shared debt, shared obligations.  Financial disagreements in marriages tend to represent power struggles in the relationship. Counseling for financial issues can help you reach a consensus about budgets and help you navigate the tricky situations that become more common as couples build a life and create a family together.

5. Sex

Differing expectations about sex can easily become a touchy subject in most marriages.  Marriage counseling can encourage couples to carve out much needed time for intimacy or empower each partner to communicate sexual desires (or lack of) in a judgment-free space.

6. Kids

Marriage counseling can assist the two of you in getting onto the same page about discipline and ensuring an appropriate and healthy structure in the family.  The marital dyad comes FIRST – a counterintuitive concept in our child-centered society. A strong marriage is the best thing couples can offer their kids. They are learning how to be married by watching you.

7. Resentment

The longer that a relationship lasts, the more likely that resentments can take root. Resentment is the accumulation of small and seemingly trivial aggravations, culminating in lasting bitterness, loneliness and anger. Resentments can also be rooted deeply in the relationship, planted by infidelity or some other betrayal.  Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. Everyone loses. Effective marriage counseling can heal resentments and help you move forward together.

8. Last-Ditch Marital

When you don’t know whether to call it quits or keep trudging along, crawling to the finish line.  In our experience, most couples at this stage have had lots and lots of bad therapy. Be encouraged by the simple fact that you’re still trying. Good last-ditch marital therapy will focus on fresh points of view and help you tackle solvable problems together.

Effective marriage counseling can enhance the quality of your relationship by:

1. Affording you and your partner the opportunity to articulate your frustrations and expectations for the marriage – about parenting, household chores, physical intimacy, extended family, money, and a number of other issues.
2. Rebounding successfully from the end of the honeymoon period
3. Equipping you and your partner with tools that enable you to express disagreement more productively, without resorting to launching verbal bombs; and honing your general communication and listening skills
4. Helping you navigate through the life cycle of a marriage – from first glance to last breath and everything in between.
5. Recovering long-lost intimacy and putting aging resentments to rest
6. Confronting issues—such as substance abuse, depression, chronic illness, etc.—that have altered the original dynamics of your relationship
7. Rejuvenating relationships where both parties have tried everything… but nothing seems to work

Paint won’t make a shack a load-bearing structure.  Instead, focus on building a new, lasting foundation for a healthy marriage between two healthy people. Don’t give up on yourself or your relationship. Relentless focus on personal responsibility will help you and your marriage become and stay healthy.