Pre-Marital Counseling & Therapy

Is Pre-Marital Counseling Right For Us?

Many couples who contemplate marriage choose pre-marital counseling to ensure that they get off on the right foot.  Marriage is tough enough without help.  Why not get a professional’s input right from the beginning?

Even the healthiest couples will argue sometimes. It’s normal to get swept away by the excitement of the wedding day and unintentionally allow important issues to slip through the cracks.

Pre-marital counseling is tool that helps couples avoid unpleasant surprises and helps to relieve the tension of existing issues. The overarching goal of pre-marital counseling isn’t about avoiding disagreements. It’s about enhancing the quality of your relationship and ensuring lasting marital satisfaction.

Although you and your counselor will explore a wide range of marital topics, 8 of the “relationship biggies” include

8 Essential Topics for Pre-Marital Counseling

• Cohabitation: If you already live together, you know how hard the adaption period is. Commonly, people argue about household chores and socks on the floor, differing bedtimes, and matters of taste (like that hideous couch from Craigslist). Pre-martial counseling can help you to articulate your expectations for cohabitation, so that living with partner you love is a positive start to a long and loving relationship.
• Career Ambitions: New careers often require significant commitments: specialized schooling, student loans, cross country relocations, and mutual sacrifice. Many marital disagreements can be sidestepped by discussing long-term career goals,  implementation of those goals, and what sacrifices might be required to balance the needs of the marriage with individual career goals?
• Finances: How comfortable are you with spending? And, what’s your stance on joint banking accounts, or your plan of attack to minimize your debts? Unfortunately, existing is expensive—from student loans and costly mortgages to car payments, credit card debt, and college funds or retirement savings. Pre-marital counseling can help couples agree on how the bills will be divided,  reach consensus on spending allowances, and long term  financial planning —all before walking down the aisle!
• Sex & Fidelity: Sex is often steamiest when the relationship is new. When career obligations and children are tossed into the mix, intimacy often suffers. Pre-martial counseling can prepare couples for these eventualities.  Pre-marital counseling addresses issues such as performance anxiety, sexual arousal disorders, orgasmic dysfunction, painful penetration, and premature or delayed ejaculation; and encourage an honest discussion of what constitutes infidelity
• Kids & Parenting: One of the most complex issues for couples considering marriage is children: Are we going to have them and what kind of parents will we be? Now’s the time to be brutally honest. How will we raise our kids? The time to discuss discipline, schools and extended family issues is now. We can help with that.
• Spirituality & Core Beliefs: If your spiritual beliefs differ what will your family spiritual and moral practices look like? What is negotiable and what is not?
• Conflict: Conflict is unavoidable. But learning and practicing healthy communication strategies can help you understand your partner’s views and avert lasting resentments.
• Extended Family: Forming relationships with in-laws can be complicated. Develop effective strategies for interacting your new family members.

How Can Pre-Martial Therapy & Counseling Help Me?

Pre-martial counseling can improve the quality of your marriage by assisting you to

• Vocalize your expectations for the marriage (on the division of bills and household chores, cohabitation habits, financial planning and spending, sexpectations and fidelity requirements, child-rearing practices, and career/home-life balance)
• Develop strategies for anticipating and resolving conflicts effectively
• Deepen your sexual and emotional connection
• Discover common ground on contradictory core values and spiritual views
• Resolve intimacy or abandonment issues and recuperate from childhood or pre-relationship incidences of abuse and trauma