Think you might have missed out on getting tested for ADHD as a child? It affects adults, too -- more than 15 million in the US, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which estimates that about half of those people received their diagnosis after reaching adulthood. Learn 8 signs of ADHD in adults, from time blindness and forgetfulness to hyperfocus and impulsivity, and how therapy can help you manage ADHD symptoms.
No. Some of the symptoms of ADHD - like forgetfulness, trouble staying focused, or problems managing time - can occur in many people. However, if you have ADHD, these symptoms occur much more frequently throughout your entire lifetime, causing a greater impact on career, health, and relationships. Many people forget to respond to a message or lose their keys from time to time, but most people aren’t affected by these problems nearly every day!
In fact, ADHD comes in three types: Hyperactive/Impulsive, Inattentive, and Combined. Adults with hyperactive/impulsive symptoms won’t fit the stereotype of a child bouncing off the walls of their classroom. (As an adult, I certainly don’t have the energy for that!) Instead, the signs can be more subtle: restlessness, fidgeting, interrupting others, or racing thoughts that never slow down. A person with inattentive type might be more likely to stare out the window daydreaming during class, or procrastinate by doing anything except work.
A common theme I see in adults with undiagnosed ADHD is wondering why their life just seems more difficult than everyone else's. Often I hear clients asking themselves questions like:
These issues are hallmark signs of executive dysfunction, a core symptom of ADHD. Executive functioning is your brain’s ability to organize, prioritize, manage time, make decisions, regulate emotions, pay attention, and start or stop a task - basically, your brain’s “manager”. When that functioning is impaired through lack of sleep, high stress, substances, or conditions like ADHD, you have executive dysfunction.
ADHD is lifelong, so by the time you reach adulthood you may have already found ways to adapt to your symptoms without realizing it, or you might be struggling and wondering why you can’t seem to measure up with where others are in your stage of life.
Here are eight ways ADHD might show up in your everyday life as an adult:
You might have difficulty estimating how much time has passed or how long things will take. Maybe every task takes longer to complete than you expect. You get distracted along the way, zone out, or end up doing unrelated tasks. As a result, you might often be late, or become overly anxious about the time, constantly checking the clock, setting alarms, or showing up very early to avoid the possibility of running late.
2. You are forgetful, or you need to write everything down to remember itYou might easily forget dates, appointments, tasks, or items, even when those things are important to you. You might have developed a meticulous system of reminders, alarms, or sticky notes around the house or office so you don’t forget things.
3. You have trouble prioritizing, getting distracted, or procrastinatingYou might find yourself asking, “Why am I cleaning the house instead of working on that project? Why am I scrolling on my phone instead of making that appointment?” Even when you know that something is important, it may not translate to doing that thing first - so instead you rely on last-minute pressure or anxiety to get things done. You might also find it difficult to keep a regular routine.
4. You are always seeking novelty or excitement, or hyperfocus on your interests ADHD is not a total lack of attention: it’s just harder to choose where your attention goes. You might pick up lots of new hobbies only to lose interest right away, buy lots of new clothes or video games or other stuff rather than use what you have, or you might chase stimulation or thrills like blasting loud music, speeding, sex, or abusing drugs or alcohol. Alternately, you might find a hobby or interest SO stimulating that you can’t tear yourself away, like binge-watching a show for hours and forgetting to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom.
5. You have an inconsistent or chaotic career path
You might have difficulty holding down a job, possibly due to problems getting work done, not being on time, conflicts with coworkers, burnout, or even boredom. Studies show that adults with ADHD are more likely to be unemployed or underemployed than the general population, and overall earn less in income than neurotypical peers. It’s common for adults with ADHD to change jobs or entire fields more often. However, you may have adapted by finding a job that’s very active, has a flexible schedule, or is “outside the box” like freelance work.
6. It’s hard staying consistent in your relationships: You might have problems in romantic and personal relationships, like forgetting to respond to messages, difficulty paying attention in conversations, struggling to plan dates or hangouts, problems keeping up with housework or parenting duties, and problems keeping your emotions in check, all of which can lead to conflict. You might be more sensitive to rejection or criticism, due to a history with these issues. Or, you might just be so burned out from trying to focus at work or school that when you get home you are just too tired to socialize. Unfortunately, divorce is more common with people with ADHD - some estimate the divorce rate among ADHD couples to be about twice as high as the general population.
7. You’re easily drawn to addictive behaviors: Recent research indicates that people with ADHD are more likely to try drugs and alcohol during their lifetime, about 2.5 times more likely to develop a substance use disorder, and more likely to develop gambling disorders and other addictions. Even if you avoid those, you might feel addicted to other stimulating things: social media, video games, sugar, caffeine, sex, overeating, spending money, over-exercising, and even overworking - and you may find it difficult to stop or change these habits.
8. You might take risks, make impulsive decisions, OR you might overthink and have trouble making decisions: For adults, impulsiveness might look like interrupting others, spending too much money, saying something rude by accident, starting or ending relationships too quickly, or quitting a job when it is no longer easy or exciting enough. However, others may do the opposite and overthink every decision, for fear of making a mistake.
Living with adult ADHD can be challenging, but the good news is that it is treatable with medication, therapy, or both. Medication is the first-line treatment for ADHD, and therapy can help treat ADHD by building your self-awareness, learning skills to manage emotions, find practical solutions for executive dysfunction, and gain clarity on your strengths and weaknesses.
Practicing mindfulness in therapy can also help improve symptoms of inattention in ADHD. Therapy also can help you process emotional issues that commonly co-occur with ADHD, such as shame, anxiety, depression, and difficulties in relationships.
Ultimately, a therapist trained in treating ADHD can help you understand what ADHD means for you, celebrate your strengths, manage your symptoms, and improve your everyday life. At Lifeologie Counseling Plano/Richardson I specialize in supporting adults and teens with ADHD and anxiety. I also enjoy working with people who feel that they don’t fit the “typical” mold or are looking for someone who will accept and welcome them for who they are.
Learn more about my approach in my bio, reach out to book a session with me in person or online, or find a Lifeologie therapist near you who specializes in helping people understand the gifts and challenges of ADHD.