For Couples, The Holiday Struggle Is Real

The holiday path for couples can be laced with family conflicts and relationship problems. Where to celebrate, not getting along with family members, lack of solidarity on spending, conflicting holiday rituals, uncontrolled drinking, and limited or lack of time together are just a few of the human landmines to navigate. 

While the holidays are a great time to reflect on your relationship and exhibit gratitude for what your partner or spouse means to you or brings into your life, it’s also a time for couples to construct a plan to stay connected amidst the stress. 

Here are a few ways to stay connected

• Get physical 

Find the mistletoe with your loved one as often as possible during the holiday season. Here’s why. According to Penn Medicine, science shows that kissing, hugging, snuggling, and holding hands produce more than just magical moments. They can actually boost overall health, helping you lose weight, lower blood pressure, fight off sickness, and more. How? These activities release a hormone called oxytocin. It’s the hormone that keeps on giving you and your loved one the good feels. 

• Turn problems into solutions 

What you experience as problems during the holidays can be reframed into problem-solving opportunities. Your brain wants to help you solve your holiday problems amidst the temptation to resort to what you’ve always done. So, put your collective heads together because two in this case is better than one. 

• Explore past experiences

Sometimes, carving a path forward entails going backwards. Examine if there is unresolved material from former experiences that might explain how you interact with your spouse or significant other during the holidays? Resolving issues from holidays past may be helpful for your relationship going forward. 

• Break the cycle 

Perhaps you are continuing a toxic or unhelpful pattern, such as triangulation or poor differentiation from your Family Of Origin(FOO) in your current relationship. Maybe the patterns and ways of functioning you developed in your FOO have run their course and it’s time to chart a new behavioral and emotional path. 

Your Holiday Helpers 

The holidays are simply another opportunity for you to grow closer as a couple. Working  through your issues as a couple or individually are options for not simply surviving the holidays but thriving. Our therapists at Lifeologie Counseling can help you pinpoint and plan for what matters for your relationship during the holidays and beyond. Meet our couples and relationship counselors to learn how to communicate and connect all year long.