---
title: My Child is Sinking and I Don't Know How to Help
description: It is hard to know what to do as a parent when you're child is struggling. Lifeologie counselor Katie McBrayer offers advice from her personal experience.
---

[Helpful Resources for Stuck Problems | Lifeologie Counseling ](https://wefixbrains.com/resources)

# [My Child is Sinking and I Don't Know How to Help](https://wefixbrains.com/resources/my-child-is-sinking)

 Written by [Katie McBrayer](https://wefixbrains.com/resources/author/katie-mcbrayer) | Oct, 2024

My 8th-grade son came to me and said, “I think I need to see someone.”  I wasn’t that someone.  I knew he was having a hard time with the divorce, but I didn’t realize how much he was struggling.  I was going through my own stuff and had no idea what to do or how to talk to him about what he was experiencing.  I agreed to make an appointment with a therapist for him as soon as possible.  His friend’s parents called me and said they were concerned about him.  The counselor at his school called me and said I needed to pick him up and have his therapist clear him before he could return to school. 

I didn’t know that if a child tells a teacher or counselor at school they are having thoughts of harming themselves or someone, they have to be evaluated and considered stable by a professional before returning to school.  I had to rearrange plans for my daughter’s 16th birthday.  Guilt and fear consumed me.  I wanted to believe he was overreacting or just looking for attention during a time when I was walking my own hard road. Thankfully, he asked for help, and I found someone who could connect with him in his pain and walk us both through that season. 

What I learned is that he needed me to:

- Show love by facilitating his needs (provide counseling, take breaks when needed)
- Validate his feelings.  Accept what he was feeling was his experience.  He needed to be seen
- Be present and sit with him in his darkness    
- Listen to hear.  He needed to be heard
- Not try to fix it or make him feel better

Pay attention to these warning signs in your kids:

- Persistent sadness that lasts two weeks or more
- Withdrawing from or avoiding social interactions
- Hurting oneself or talking about hurting oneself
- Talking about death or suicide
- Outbursts or extreme irritability
- Out-of-control behavior that can be harmful
- Drastic changes in mood, behavior or personality
- Changes in eating habits
- Loss of weight
- Difficulty sleeping
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches
- Difficulty concentrating
- Changes in academic performance
- Avoiding or missing school

If you are concerned, make an appointment with your child’s doctor and a mental health professional to get the support both of you need. At [Lifeologie Counseling Dallas](https://wefixbrains.com/locations/dallas-uptown-tx), I specialize in helping couples and families work through conflict and communication struggles, including how to navigate the hurdles of parenting and life transitions. Book a session with me by calling (214) 357-4001, or if you're outside of Texas, you can [find a Lifeologie therapist near you](https://wefixbrains.com/locations). 

 

[View full post](https://wefixbrains.com/resources/my-child-is-sinking)

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