Navigating the Holidays When You're LGBTQ+

The holidays can bring light, hope, and togetherness into our lives. For many people who identify as LGBTQ+, though, this season can also stir up painful memories, highlight complicated relationships, or even create new worries. It’s vital for LGBTQ+ folks to prioritize their own mental health and to support friends who may be struggling—especially when holiday stress ramps up feelings of shame, isolation, or fear of rejection.

With that in mind, here are a few things I’ve learned as a therapist to consider before the holiday season starts, along with some practical coping skills to help you navigate gatherings this year with more intention and care.

Plan responses ahead 

Make mental notes about potential difficulties that could come up, and prepare for them. What are your triggers that come up around family and friends? Having planned responses like, "I guess we're just going to have to agree to disagree on that one. Would you like some more turkey?" can really help shift the mood.

consider conflicts with family members

Consider whether it is helpful for you to be together with relatives when conflicts exist. Relatives who do not accept your identity, who hold extreme political views, or who are disrespectful might not be good for your wellbeing. The same goes for relatives who are constantly negative or who have narcissistic behaviors. Conflicts during holidays can be damaging and long-lasting. Seeing these relatives another time could be less stressful.

set limits to avoid self-medication

Substances like alcohol, weed, or other drugs may be easily accessible during celebrations. It can be easy to get carried away when you're partying. This can lead to a spiral of drama and regret. Set limits for yourself and stick to them. 

your home, your rules

If relatives or friends come to visit, it's okay to set your own boundaries and "house rules." Some areas to consider could be:

• Drinking, smoking, and other substances: Are they allowed? If so, where and when?
• Sleep where you like: Pressure to sleep apart from a partner because of a non-accepting relative's opinion can feel invalidating to you and your partner.
• Hotel options: Planning for guests to stay in a nearby hotel can be a huge relief. This can be especially true if your home is small or crowded already. Being able to say "good night" until the next day can make visits more manageable.
• Alone time: It's perfectly okay to set aside time for yourself to breathe, stretch, walk, or just do nothing. Alone time can help you stay centered.

reconnecting with spiritual traditions

Many LGBTQ+ people have experienced rejection and trauma from religious people, yet they maintain their faith and spirituality.

Attending services can feel like going back into the closet, or worse, especially when intolerant beliefs are being expressed. Many cities now have houses of worship and spiritual organizations that welcome LGBTQ+ people warmly. Exploring these alternatives can open a path to healing and spiritual connection that felt closed before.

I specialize in working with individuals and couples who are facing these issues, as well as many other emotional and mental health concerns at Lifeologie Counseling Dallas and Lifeologie Counseling Fort Worth. If you would like to make an appointment with me, please call our Client Care Team at (214) 357-4001 or click the "request an appointment" button above. I am currently accepting new clients at both locations. 

Outside the DFW area? Find a therapist near you who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues at one of our many Lifeologie Counseling locations near you!