As a licensed clinical mental health counselor, I often think about how much people are carrying beneath the surface of their everyday lives. I see how stress can affect our relationships, our ability to sleep, our patience with the people we love, and even our confidence in making decisions about the future. And as a busy working mom and business owner, I can relate!
Many people tell me they feel overwhelmed, but they aren't always sure why. They may be managing work, raising children, caring for aging parents, navigating financial pressures, or trying to keep up with a world that seems to change faster than they can process it. They continue to meet their responsibilities, but inside, they feel exhausted. One of the things I want people to understand is that you can be functioning on the outside and still be struggling on the inside. Just because you're getting everything done doesn't mean the stress isn't taking a toll.
The American Psychological Association's 2026 Stress in America report reinforces something that mental health professionals see every day: for many people, stress is becoming a constant part of life rather than an occasional response to a difficult situation.
So, what can we do about it? And how can mental health counseling help us live more fully when we can't control everything happening around us? Let's take a closer look.
The American Psychological Association (APA) surveyed 3,132 U.S. adults between July 29 and August 24, 2026, for its report, Stress in America™ 2026: The Stress of Uncertainty.
The findings reveal several important sources of stress:
The APA describes a troubling pattern: many adults appear to be adapting to chronic stress by treating it as their new normal.
As a counselor, I find this particularly important. When we experience stress for a long time, we can begin to assume that feeling tense, worried, or emotionally depleted is simply how life works. We may stop asking ourselves whether we're okay because we've become so accustomed to not feeling okay. These survey findings don't mean that everyone experiences stress in the same way, and they don't establish that stress directly caused every reported outcome. But they do offer a valuable picture of the pressures many adults are experiencing and how those pressures may be affecting their daily lives.
When we talk about stress, we often think about feeling worried, having too much to do, or dealing with a difficult situation. But stress can influence much more than our mood. It can affect our bodies, our thoughts, our behavior, and our relationships.
For example, when someone is under prolonged stress, they may notice that they:
Sometimes, people don't recognize these experiences as signs of stress. They may think they're becoming less patient, less motivated, or less capable of managing their lives. I encourage people to approach these changes with curiosity rather than criticism.
Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" try asking, "What have I been carrying, and what might I need right now?" That simple shift can open the door to greater self-understanding and healthier ways of responding to life's challenges.
One of the most common patterns I encourage people to examine is the belief that they should be able to handle everything. We live in a culture that often rewards productivity, independence, and the ability to keep going regardless of how we feel. Many of us have learned to push through discomfort, postpone rest, and take care of everyone else before considering our own needs. But constantly pushing through stress without allowing time for recovery can leave us feeling depleted.
I encourage clients to think about stress as information rather than evidence that they're failing. If you're exhausted, perhaps you need rest. If you're irritable, perhaps you're carrying more than you realize. If you're withdrawing from friends, perhaps you're emotionally depleted and need to reconnect in a way that feels manageable.
The goal isn't to eliminate every difficult feeling. It's to recognize what those feelings may be telling you and respond with intention.
Take a moment each day to check in with yourself. Ask three questions:
You don't need to solve every problem you identify. Sometimes, simply recognizing what you're experiencing is a meaningful first step.
The APA report highlights how financial concerns, the economy, and uncertainty about the future are affecting adults across the country. These aren't imaginary problems. The cost of housing, groceries, health care, and family care can create genuine hardship. Counseling isn't about telling people to think positively about circumstances that are difficult or unfair. Instead, I help people explore how to respond to those circumstances in ways that protect their emotional well-being.
Consider the difference between these two experiences. In the first, you spend hours worrying about rising expenses, replaying worst-case scenarios, and wondering how you'll manage everything. Your concerns may be understandable, but the repeated worry leaves you feeling increasingly helpless.
In the second, you acknowledge the financial pressure, identify the decisions available to you, and take one practical step. You might review your budget, ask for help, have an honest conversation with your partner, or consult a financial professional. The external circumstances may be exactly the same. But your relationship with the problem has changed.
In therapy, we can work on identifying which concerns require action, which require acceptance of uncertainty, and which may be amplified by anxious thinking. Approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help people examine unhelpful thought patterns and develop more balanced responses. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can help people make room for uncomfortable emotions while taking meaningful action guided by their values.
When you feel overwhelmed, divide a piece of paper into two columns: What I can influence or control and What is outside of my influence and control?
Choose one realistic action from the first column. For the second, practice recognizing the concern without requiring yourself to solve it immediately. This isn't about giving up. It's about directing your energy where it has the greatest chance of helping you.
One finding in the APA report especially stands out to me: 47% of adults said they had pulled back from at least one form of social participation because of stress, uncertainty, or feeling overwhelmed. I understand why this happens. When we're emotionally exhausted, even enjoyable activities can feel like additional obligations. We cancel plans, stop responding to messages, or tell ourselves we'll reconnect with people when life becomes less demanding. Sometimes, taking a break is exactly what we need. But when withdrawal becomes our primary way of coping, we may lose access to some of the support that helps us navigate difficult times.
Social connection doesn't have to mean attending a large gathering or explaining all your problems to someone else. It might mean having coffee with a friend, taking a walk with your partner, calling a family member, or spending time with someone who makes you feel comfortable being yourself. I have some friends that breathe new life into me when I see them. They are like human sunshine and I NEED them in my life!
I also encourage people to pay attention to their relationships during stressful periods. Stress can make us more reactive, less patient, and more likely to misinterpret what others say or do. When we're overwhelmed, we may need to communicate more intentionally, ask for support more directly, and recognize when we need a pause before responding.
For couples and families, counseling can provide a space to understand how stress is affecting communication and to practice healthier ways of supporting one another.
Rather than waiting until you feel energized enough to socialize, plan one small, manageable connection each week. Choose someone you trust and an activity that doesn't feel like another demand on your time. You don't have to be at your best to benefit from being with people who care about you. Reach out when things are messy and falling apart, you might find they are just what you need to keep going.
Many people experience stress not only because of what they must do, but because of what they feel they should do. They say yes when they want to say no. They take responsibility for other people's feelings. They remain available to work long after the workday ends. They feel guilty when they rest or worry that asking for help will disappoint someone. Over time, these patterns can leave little room for personal needs. Healthy boundaries aren't about being selfish or uncaring. They're about recognizing your limits and communicating them respectfully.
That might mean setting a time to stop checking work email, sharing household responsibilities more equitably, limiting exposure to distressing news, or being honest with a friend that you don't have the capacity for a lengthy conversation today.
Of course, setting boundaries can be complicated. Family expectations, financial circumstances, workplace demands, and caregiving responsibilities may limit the choices available to us. Therapy can help you identify realistic boundaries and develop ways to communicate them while considering those constraints.
Before agreeing to a new request, pause and ask yourself, "Do I have the time, energy, and willingness to take this on?" If the answer is no, consider whether you can decline, negotiate a different arrangement, or ask for help. You don't have to change every boundary in your life at once. Start with one area where a small adjustment could make a meaningful difference.
When life gets stressful, rest and enjoyable activities are often the first things we sacrifice. We tell ourselves we'll take a vacation when work settles down, exercise when we have more time, or return to hobbies when the family needs less attention. But life doesn't always become less demanding on its own.
The APA's findings about social withdrawal and emotional exhaustion remind us to pay attention to what disappears from our lives when we're overwhelmed. Rest isn't simply the absence of work. It can also involve doing things that help us feel restored, connected, curious, or engaged.
Depending on the person, that might mean spending time outdoors, listening to music, practicing mindfulness, creating something, moving your body, or enjoying a quiet moment without feeling obligated to be productive. For me, I ride my bike on a sunny afternoon. Sometimes I go a few blocks, just to feel the breeze in my hair. It brings me back to childhood, to a time when life felt lighter and more relaxed. I encourage clients to consider which activities help them feel more like themselves. The answer is personal. What restores one person may feel exhausting to another.
It's also important to remember that self-care isn't a substitute for addressing serious stressors. A breathing exercise won't resolve a financial crisis, and a walk won't eliminate an unhealthy work environment. But restorative practices can support us as we navigate those challenges and decide what needs to change.
Schedule one small activity each day that serves no purpose other than to support your well-being. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. Give yourself permission to enjoy it without turning it into another task to complete perfectly.
The APA report found that 26% of adults had put their futures on hold because of stress, uncertainty, or feeling overwhelmed. Another 28% reported little to no control over their future. When we're stressed, it's understandable to become cautious about making decisions. We may worry about choosing the wrong career, making a financial commitment, changing a relationship, or taking a step toward a long-term goal. Sometimes, postponing a decision is wise. We may genuinely need more information, additional resources, or time to think. But there is a difference between making a thoughtful decision to wait and feeling so overwhelmed that we stop moving forward altogether.
In counseling, I encourage people to explore what matters to them, what obstacles they face, and what steps are possible within their current circumstances. You don't have to plan your entire future to take one meaningful step toward it. If you're considering a career change, perhaps the first step is researching options. If you want to improve a relationship, perhaps it's initiating a conversation. If you hope to make more time for yourself, perhaps it's identifying one commitment you can adjust. ACT and other therapeutic approaches can help people identify their values and take practical steps toward them, even when anxiety or uncertainty hasn't disappeared.
Ask yourself, "If I didn't need to have the entire plan figured out, what is one small step I would take?" Focus on that step rather than requiring yourself to feel completely confident before beginning. You can acknowledge uncertainty and still move forward, both can be true at the same time.
I often remind people that counseling isn't reserved for moments of crisis. It can also be a proactive way to understand yourself, strengthen your coping skills, and address challenges before they become more difficult to manage. In my work as a licensed clinical mental health counselor and clinical director, I believe therapy should be collaborative and tailored to the individual. There is no single strategy that works for everyone, because people experience stress within different relationships, responsibilities, histories, and life circumstances.
At Lifeologie Counseling Raleigh & Durham, our therapists work with individuals, couples, families, teens, and children who are navigating a wide range of concerns, especially stress.
Depending on your needs, counseling may help you:
Our clinicians draw on a variety of therapeutic approaches, which may include CBT, ACT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), mindfulness-based strategies, and other evidence-informed practices, depending on the clinician's training and the client's needs. Sometimes, therapy focuses on practical skills. At other times, it involves exploring longstanding patterns, unresolved experiences, or beliefs that influence how we respond to stress today. The goal isn't to tell you how to live your life. It's to help you better understand your experiences, recognize your options, and develop an approach that supports your well-being.
You don't need to wait until you feel completely overwhelmed to reach out. It may be helpful to consider counseling if stress is affecting your sleep, concentration, relationships, or ability to manage everyday responsibilities. You might also benefit if you find yourself withdrawing from others, struggling with persistent worry, losing interest in activities, or feeling unable to make decisions about your future. These experiences don't automatically indicate a mental health diagnosis. They are, however, worth paying attention to, particularly when they persist or interfere with daily life.
If you are experiencing physical symptoms, consult a health care professional as well. Stress can contribute to physical discomfort, but symptoms should not automatically be attributed to stress without appropriate medical assessment. Seeking help is not a sign that you have failed to manage your life. It can be a thoughtful decision to care for yourself and address what's happening before it becomes more difficult. It can be the first step in getting the life you’d like to be living; one that’s filled with self care, self compassion and balance.
The APA's 2026 Stress in America report highlights the pressures many adults are carrying and the ways stress and uncertainty may be affecting their relationships, social connections, and plans for the future. As a therapist, I don't expect people to eliminate stress from their lives. That's neither realistic nor necessary. Some stress is part of being human, and some circumstances require us to adapt to challenges we didn't choose. But I do believe we can learn to recognize when stress is taking too much from us. We can develop healthier ways of responding, ask for support, reconnect with what matters, and make decisions that reflect our needs and values. Most importantly, we can stop assuming that feeling overwhelmed is simply the price we have to pay for being responsible adults. Adulting doesn’t have to equal stressed out and frantic!
You can care deeply about your family and still need time for yourself. You can be capable and still ask for help. You can acknowledge real uncertainty and still make plans for your future. And you don't have to wait for everything in your life to settle down before you begin taking care of your mental health.
At Lifeologie Counseling Raleigh & Durham, we believe that counseling can help people find practical, personalized ways to navigate life's challenges. Our therapists work collaboratively with clients to build coping skills, strengthen relationships, and create meaningful change.
If stress has become your new normal, perhaps it's time to consider a different way forward.
I'd encourage you to begin with one small step: check in with yourself, talk with someone you trust, or reach out to a mental health professional. You don't have to figure everything out on your own.
To learn more about my team's counseling services in North Carolina, contact Lifeologie Counseling Raleigh & Durham at (919) 900-7552 or search by state to find a therapist near you in our Lifeologie directory.
American Psychological Association. (2026, October 22). Stress in America™ 2026: The stress of uncertainty. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/stress-in-america/2026
The APA survey was conducted online by The Harris Poll on behalf of the American Psychological Association among 3,132 U.S. adults ages 18 and older from July 29 through August 24, 2026. The findings reflect respondents' reported experiences and perceptions; they do not establish that stress directly caused every reported outcome.