How to Support A Loved One With Cancer

“I am here to support you”, is a common phrase often used by friends, family, and acquaintances to convey solidarity, reassurance, and camaraderie in the early stages of a patient’s cancer diagnosis. However, as a support person, it can be a difficult task to discern how to truly best support a loved one with cancer. Navigating conversations about support and your role in your loved one’s cancer journey can feel challenging, however, we have a few tips that may assist you in approaching these conversations with your loved one.

 

Support figures often make the mistake of assuming that they know the kind of support that their loved one needs or default to a means of support that feels most comfortable and familiar to them. Asking your loved one directly serves two purposes. (1) It assures that you are providing immediate, conscientious support and (2) it empowers your loved one to advocate for their own needs and assert a level of control over how, when, and from whom they receive support.

 

Amidst the onslaught of doctors visits, treatment changes, and physiological side effects, cancer treatment can be a debilitating experience with little regard for a patient’s personal agency and bodily autonomy. As a result, allowing your loved one to set expectations, advocate for their needs, and allocate responsibilities amongst their support team can be a thoroughly rewarding and empowering experience for them.

 

You may be thinking to yourself- “Well, I’ve never had to have a conversation about needs and support before. How do I broach these conversations with my loved one?” Below are some suggested questions that could help you clarify the type, amount, and intensity of care that your loved one may need or would prefer.

 

Cancer patients may require different levels and forms of support depending on their limitations, stage of treatment, and personal preferences. Don’t be afraid to check in every once and a while to see if your loved one’s needs have changed and be willing to accommodate accordingly. 

 

It helps to be familiar with different types of support should your loved one struggle to identify tasks they need assistance with, or be unable to identify their needs or limitations in the moment. Here are a few ways to help:

 

Remember, that every patient will cope with and respond to their cancer diagnosis differently and may not alway open to receiving support. Be prepared to be understanding and respectful should your loved one turn-down your attempts at support. Your loved ones are entitled to privacy. It is important to trust that they are capable of communicating honestly about their needs as they evolve and establish a trusting, open relationship with them.

 

When attempting to care for someone else with cancer it is important to be conscious of your own limitations and boundaries. The fact of the matter is that we are only capable of attending to the needs of others when our own needs are being satisfied. Compassion fatigue is common among caregivers, and it is important to not neglect your own wellness in an attempt to uphold anothers. Be comfortable with acknowledging when you are taking on too many responsibilities and contemplate how you may be able to allocate roles and tasks to other members of the support team. A licensed counselor can be a wonderful resource to assist caretakers and family members in supporting their loved ones in their cancer journey. 

 

I specialize in working with cancer patients and their families at our Lifeologie Counseling Dallas/ Uptown location. If you live in the Dallas area and you or your loved one could benefit from cancer-related counseling and support, please call our office at (214) 357-4001 or request an appointment with me. Or, visit https:// wefixbrains.com/therapiststo meet our team and  find out which Lifeologie Counselor is right for you.