Suffering From Silent Rage? For Men, It May Be A Sign of Depression

In a society that often expects men to be stoic and unyielding, the silent struggle of male depression persists. I aim to shed light on this important issue, providing insights into identifying symptoms, coping mechanisms, therapy options, and the collective effort to break the stigma surrounding silent rage, men’s depression, and male mental health. 

Symptoms

Depression can present itself differently for every individual, but a common thread for male depression is anger or rage. Maybe you have felt distant from the activities or things you typically enjoy and the frustration from that lack of enjoyment boils over into you throwing out the items you have spent hours, days, or even months collecting. Maybe you have underlying anger toward everyone you come in contact with. Even your partner, whom you know you care deeply about but can’t seem to stop vilifying them in your head. Or maybe you’ve been getting increasingly frustrated with your pets, just for simply wanting to spend all of their time close to you. These can all be symptoms of depression in men. 

Suppressing Emotion

This silent rage that occurs throughout many men’s lives comes from a familiar place of not being allowed to express or experience their emotions through childhood and young adulthood. Our minds become so used to suppressing the “negative” emotions, like sadness or fear, that they learn how to suppress all emotions. So why does this rage become the dominant voice out of all of the possibilities? The likely culprit is that this emotion –anger – is typically the only feeling encouraged in young men and boys as they grow up. Anger is taught as a motivator for competition, a way to get over a break-up, or a way to focus on things you dislike. 

The concept that men don’t cry is, to be perfectly frank, a lie. Everyone understands this fact, yet society as whole carries on the expectation that everything you feel should be bottled up or else you are seen as weak. The truth of the matter is, being able to understand and experience all of your emotions will allow you to open up greater potential, improve your relationships, and provide a level of strength you previously haven’t experienced.  

Working With Emotions

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, nearly 1 in 10 men experience some form of depression but fewer than half seek treatment for it. Ways to work on this part of yourself include some form of regular physical activity, establishing boundaries, meditation, willingness to open up in personal relationships, and of course therapy. However, learning how to express and truly engage with your emotions can be incredibly difficult. Working with someone like myself, who has not only been trained to help with these feelings but has also been in the same confusingly angry shoes, can make a significant impact. 

Beginning therapy can be a daunting idea, but therapy is tailored to you and the needs that you have. There is never any judgment or ridicule. There is only honest and positive regard for you and the circumstances you find yourself in, with the hope that it can be improved. 

If you or someone you are close to is experiencing this struggle with silent rage or male depression, I encourage you to reach out to schedule an appointment with me at Lifeologie Counseling Fort Worth or one of our many qualified therapists near you to begin taking the steps toward this powerfully healing journey.