7 Tips to Destress During the Holidays

Jingle…Oh Well

Stress, as you already know, can be an inevitable part of the holiday season.The tripartite holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s) can wreak havoc on your mind, body, and spirit. But here’s some good news: YOU have power and agency. Use these seven tips as much or as little as needed to fuel stress relief for your holiday journey. 

Avoid contentious topics 

We just came out of a really difficult presidential election season. No matter your side or position, it took a lot out of all of us. But now that it's over, use this seasonal opportunity to lighten up and focus on issues and subjects that aren't so heavy during the holidays. You can have conversations about shows people are watching, nature (not climate change), award shows, funny family stories, and even cute baby animals. Who doesn’t like cute baby animals? The takeaway here is just to keep things lighthearted. 

Move your body 

According to a 2023 study, “Physical activity was shown to help with sleep and improve various psychiatric disorders. Exercise in general is associated with a better mood and improved quality of life. Physical exercise and yoga may help in the management of cravings for substances, especially in people who may not have access to other forms of therapy.” Sign up for those turkey trots, engage yoga, pilates and some fun spin classes. Also keep in mind that gyms are offering deep membership discounts right now! 

Plan exit strategies 

One of the things I learned from the movie The Italian Job is to know where the exits are when I walk into any situation. The holidays are no different for you. Sometimes you will want and need a break from family during the holidays. You can work on non-family related tasks and activities like professional and academic projects. Starbucks or other local coffee spots are great places to gain some space and privacy. Next, identify your support system. Plan to spend quality time with those other than family. Set up meets virtually or in person. 

Decide what matters to you

Instead of seeking the unrealistic and unattainable goal of perfection, do this: Decide what matters to you this holiday season and beyond. What are your values? What are your priorities? What are your desires? What behaviors do you need to adopt that support your values, priorities, and desires? How do you want to feel going into 2025?  Deciding what matters to you doesn't mean you won't be impacted by the world around you. It just means you can stay grounded in the midst of the crazy and chaos. 

Notice when you revert and recover 

When you are in your Family of Origin, there can be the tendency to revert back to your role within that particular system. Roles like the hero, enabler, mascot, favorite, and scapegoat. These roles can serve the function of alleviating the anxiety or issues a family faces. If you notice yourself reverting, take a moment to affirm being in the present not the past. Then take the next right action that promotes your desired present identity. 

Choose charity over being right 

This means believing the best instead of the worst about your friends, bosses, families, kids, pastors, strangers, everybody. Believing the worst about people is so easy. It's our default most of the time but in this season you can start exercising your charity muscles as you move into the new year.

Focus on repair (later) 

The holidays are not necessarily the time to try and deal with all the conflict and issues in your family and other relationships. There is most certainly enough stress, trauma and discomfort to go around. While conflict resolution is important, it may not matter to you for the holidays (See tip 4 again). When you do get around to repairing relationships after the holidays, identify the conflict, only involve those who absolutely need involvement and own your part in the conflict. 

Remember that stress relief for the holidays and beyond is within your reach. You can begin to practice avoiding contentious topics, moving your body, planning exit strategies, deciding what matters to you, noticing when you revert and recover, choosing charity over being right, and focusing on repair later.

Holiday Helpers 

If therapy is an option for you, support from a trained mental health professional could make a huge difference in your life. Lifeologie Counseling offers support during the holidays and year round. Browse our locations and directory to find a therapist that is the right fit at the right time for you! And be sure to check out my other holiday stress tips in our Resources section!