Trouble At The Start? Time For A Midseason Pivot!

Maybe your back-to-school season didn’t happen exactly like you wanted. As a parent, the excitement and anticipation of a “fresh” start ended up slipping into an old and tired routine. Your calendars are full of games, practices, recitals, etc. and before you know it, the holidays will be here. It goes by really fast. 

Maybe your career hasn’t launched the way you imagined, and now you feel stuck. 

Maybe you’re in a relationship that didn't get off to a good start, and the “unresolved conflicts” column is filling up faster than the “resolved conflicts” column and now you’re looking for the exit before any more damage can take place. Maybe you decided to take the entrepreneurial leap and start your own business but early sales are abysmal and you’re contemplating going back to the familiar stability of trading time for money. 

Sometimes things don’t get off to a good start. Thankfully, starting well is not a prerequisite for finishing well. We all know deep down that it’s not about how you start but how you finish. 

It’s time to focus on your pivot. So, think of this moment as the start to your comeback story. You’ll look back in January, maybe as you are sweating on the treadmill, and be super proud you did.  

Pivoting Means…

When I talk about pivoting, I mean making changes in your life that would be beneficial to you becoming your best self. The mantra I want you to embrace is that change is possible. That doesn’t mean it will be easy but that transformation is within your reach. 

Costs of Not Pivoting 

Feeling stuck and hopeless in whatever your life situation is just a symptom affirming that pivoting isn’t easy. Pivoting goes against our hardwired tendency to keep homeostasis or stability within ourselves and our environments. The problem here is that this kind of homeostasis works against you rather than for you. You’re like the proverbial frog in boiling water that doesn’t realize it's slowly being cooked alive. Staying comfortable will cost you.

It can cost you: 

• Professional significance and happiness 
• A meaningful romantic connection 
• Progress in your education goals 
• Improvement in your mental health 

Feel free to add in your own costs. My point is that pivoting, or making changes, will be more beneficial to you than staying where you are. 

Here are a few principles to help with your midseason pivot on your way to being your best self. 

Let Go

According to Dr. Anna Kaffner Shaffer, “Letting go is a spiritual/psychological process that requires relinquishing our attachment to outcomes, desires, expectations, and accepting what is.” It’s time to become non-attached from how you think this year should have been or will be.

Be Self-Compassionate 

As you have become non-attached from what you planned and expected, take a sigh of relief and enjoy the rewards of self-compassion. Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion underscores its significance in promoting emotional resilience and reducing self-criticism.

Focus On What You Can Change 

You can change and have control over your attitude/mindset, your diet, your job, your reactions in relationships, how much time you spend on social media, etc. Focus on what applies to you and only you. 

This also means no more sulking about times gone by. The past is gone. Let’s accept this and move on. Hey! The rhyming wasn’t intentional but it works. You’re in midseason now. Leave behind what you didn’t get done or aspired to do in August. 

Get into the present. 

Assess your situation

We all have a tendency to look at others and make the interpretation that “they” are doing “better” than us. It’s quite human. But don’t allow the voices of envy and comparison a seat at your table. Here’s why. How others are faring parentally, financially, romantically, professionally, or wherever is none of your business. 

You have a life situation that is valuable and worthy of your focus. 

Let’s create some present significance, momentum. Dump all of what matters to you on paper or your preferred note-taking app. You might do this quickly or take your time. Now, take a break or step back. You may find that a lot of things and people matter. 

Now, let’s make a distinction between what and who mattered then vs. now. Maybe those things did matter to you at some point or in a different season because they needed to matter or you wanted them to matter. 

Reflect on why something or someone matters to you. Many times, your thinking and beliefs are limiting, dogmatic, and rigid. Here’s what I mean: If you believe you have to, should, must, never, or always hold on then things can’t be different or go another way. Inflexible thinking is an obstacle to pivoting (in addition to your comfort/familiarity, envy and comparison). Replace limiting beliefs with those that are more helpful and take into account your evolution as a person.  

People and things can have significant expiration dates. Take a moment of gratitude for what and who mattered to you. Inhale. Then, move forward by exhaling. 

Your goal here is to pivot from your present. 

Your Pivot Squad

An undesired start does not define or limit you. At Lifeologie Counseling Dallas, we specialize in helping you make those life-altering pivots by offering compassionate and practical therapeutic support, whether you’re at the beginning, middle or end of a season. Our therapy team takes a curious, non-judgmental and collaborative approach that will give you the tools, tips and support you need to navigate all the things related to your journey. Book an appointment today with me in Texas, or explore our rapidly growing team of Lifeologie therapists near you to get started.