Become more aware of your anger to create the change you seek!

Anger is a regular part of being human—even those of us in the mental health field aren’t immune. Navigating anger can be challenging, especially when a conversation doesn’t go the way we’d hoped, or we’re treated unfairly, or simply overwhelmed by stress. Sometimes it erupts outward and we respond in ways that don’t feel true to who we are. Other times, anger turns inward, fueling critical self-talk or guilt that hangs around longer than we’d like. And yes, those intense feelings can end up spilling onto the people we care about most—even when our intentions are good. The first step toward shifting this pattern is simply noticing it. Bringing gentle awareness to how anger shows up in your life opens the door to new ways of managing it—with greater compassion for yourself and those around you.

8 self-calming tips for anger

1. Practice Deep Breathing. Give yourself a brief pause to take slow, deep breaths. Focus on expanding your belly—not your shoulders—as you inhale. This gentle reset helps your body and mind ease down from the edge.
2. Get Moving. Take a brisk walk—moving your body helps burn off some of that pent-up energy, and it gives your brain a helpful boost of endorphins. The rhythmic motion can also help balance your mood and clear your head.
3. Cool Off—Literally. Splash some cold water on your face. This quick, sensory shift can jar you back to the present moment, giving you space to decide your next step.
4. Lighten Up with Humor. Sometimes, picturing the situation or person that’s sparked your anger in a silly way (imagine them with a giant foam hat, for example) can break the intensity of the moment and help you reset.
5. Notice Your Triggers. If you can identify what sets you off, you can better prepare for those moments—or steer clear of them when possible. Dig beneath your initial reaction: anger might be masking sadness, loss, or even feeling unseen.
6. Try Counting Down. Slowly count from 1 to 10 while picturing a calming scene—your favorite place, a peaceful color, or even your dog’s goofy grin. It helps cue both mind and body to relax.
7. Keep an Anger Journal. When you write out your feelings before reacting, you can process the intensity and approach the situation more thoughtfully.
8. Check Where Your Anger Comes From. Sometimes anger is covering for stress at work, struggles in relationships, or old wounds that haven’t fully healed. A little self-reflection goes a long way.