Hi First Year Mamas,
Let's talk about something pervasive in our mom culture – mom shaming!
Name a parenting topic, and those around you will have an opinion. As a new mom, it can feel overwhelming to potentially have your decisions judged, especially as you are trying to find your mama groove. As studies have shown that the majority of American moms feel criticized for parenting decisions, it’s safe to say that you have experienced this before. It can be particularly hurtful when coming from another mom.
Mom shaming can manifest in various ways, sometimes subtly through a raised eyebrow or a seemingly innocent comment, and other times more overtly through direct criticism or unsolicited advice. Mom-shaming is a frequent challenge that many mothers encounter in their parenting journey. It's pervasive and cruel and can trigger a range of emotions, often stirring up deep-seated feelings of insecurity and guilt.
These feelings can be particularly intense because they tap into the natural desire to be the best possible parent, leaving many moms questioning their choices and doubting their abilities. The impact of mom shaming can linger, affecting a mother's confidence and self-esteem, and making the already complex task of parenting even more daunting than all that laundry.
Trust your parenting instincts
Every family is unique, and you know your children best. When faced with criticism, remind yourself that most parenting decisions exist on a spectrum with no single "right" way. Consider feedback objectively, but ultimately trust your judgment about what works for your family.
Set clear boundaries with shamers
Whether it's a family member, friend, or stranger, it's okay to politely but firmly shut down criticism. Simple phrases like "We've found this works best for our family" or "I appreciate your concern, but I'm comfortable with my decision" can help establish boundaries without escalating conflict.
Find your supportive community
Seek out other parents who lift you up rather than judge. Online groups, local meetups, or even just one or two understanding friends can provide validation and practical advice when you need it. These supportive connections can help counterbalance the negative impact of mom shaming.
Nobody has it all figured out. It is so easy to feel inadequate when you are trying to figure out who you are as a mom! There is so much pressure from society, others around you, and also from yourself to be perfect. Remember, you are enough. This is especially important to remember in the digital age that we live in. While your favorite Instagram mom might look like they have it all together all the time, you are only viewing the filtered information of their choosing.
You got this Mama! And if you need a little support for yourself or your parenting skills, contact us at your nearest Lifeologie Counseling!
