Overcoming Loneliness in the Month of Love

With a holiday like Valentine’s Day that’s often focused on romantic love, it’s also a good time to remember that love can be focused inward, too. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be worthy of care, flowers, chocolate, or a special day on the calendar. In fact, intentionally turning some of that Valentine’s energy toward yourself can be a powerful way to nurture your mental health.

must be love on the brain

Sometimes feelings of depression and anxiety worsen during these colder, darker seasons and highly publicized “love holidays,” emphasizing the loneliness that people may feel when they’re lacking love in different forms—romantic, familial, platonic, or even love for themselves. Social media highlight reels, packed restaurants, and endless ads for couplehood can quietly send the message that you’re “behind” or “less than” if your life doesn’t look a certain way. That’s simply not true, but it can absolutely still hurt.

Self-love and self-care are important parts of your overall mental wellbeing, and focusing on them may help alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. That doesn’t always mean bubble baths and spa days (though it can); it can also look like setting boundaries, talking kindly to yourself, getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, and reaching out for support when you need it. Learn to treat yourself with the same tenderness you’d offer a close friend. It can soften the sting of loneliness and create a more stable emotional foundation on Valentine’s Day (and frankly, every other day of the year!).

here's how to show yourself a little love!

1. Practice self-care and love. Treating yourself is a real act of compassion and self-love, and it can go a long way toward refilling your emotional tank. Give yourself permission to celebrate you—on purpose. Do something that genuinely brings you joy, even if there isn’t anyone else around to see it or applaud it. Loving yourself can feel awkward or even uncomfortable at first, but that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of that love. You are.
   
   
2. Celebrate all your relationships. Not only is expressing love to yourself important, but also love to all your other relationships, like your significant other(s), friends, and family. Spending time around with those that love you is a great way to help bring more happiness and serenity into your life, or at the very least distract you from some things that may be upsetting. A lot of times this holiday is a way that people take advantage of to spend time or gift others with things that express their care and love, so don’t be afraid to do the same and strengthen your relationship with those around you!
   
   
3. Communicate with others. Even though the holiday may or may not be important to you, it doesn’t take away from the fact that communication is a vital part of a healthy relationship with anybody. Sending out wishes of thoughtfulness towards others, whether it be about Valentine’s or not, is a great way to maintain a good relationship with others. And if you’re struggling with mental health, then talking about it with your support system can help a ton, including asking for some alone time (for us introverts!). 
   
   
4. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a skill that you can practice this holiday season to help alleviate feelings of stress and other symptoms of anxiety. Taking the time to get more in touch with yourself and your emotions can help take the stress away for many people. It can also be a coping skill to take control of your emotions when they become too strong and overwhelming.
   
   
5. Seek support if necessary. With any holiday focused around love, many people are reminded about the love that they have missing in their lives, whether it be romantic, familial, or platonic. Even when people are surrounded by people that love them, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t able to feel lonely in a room full of them. If you are struggling with your mental health and feeling like you are experiencing symptoms of depression, please reach out and seek support from people around you or from professionals. 

Think it might be time to ask for help in your quest to love yourself just as you are? You can type "Lifeologie therapist near me" in your favorite search engine or AI tool, or search by mental health specialty or location to find a local therapist.

Happy Valentine’s to you from the Lifeologie Counseling Team!