Rethinking Trauma: It’s Not Always What We Expect

What does the word “trauma,” make you think of? Some people might think, “I  can’t remember any specific times I’ve faced real trauma” or maybe even “I had a great  childhood. Nothing stands out to me.” What if I told you that in one way or another, we may have all faced some form of trauma, though it differs in intensity or impact from person to person. Trauma is a lasting emotional, psychological, and physical response to a life event that may overwhelm an individual's ability to cope.

Childhood Trauma and Adult Trauma

Experiencing a traumatic event is often not our own fault. Sometimes we face negative experiences in life that are out of our control, like violence, accidents, and childhood upbringing. However, I like to think that trauma can be defined as “anything less than nurturing.” Viewing trauma with an open mind and growth mindset can be the first step toward healing.

big t vs little t trauma 

We can further distinguish between “Big T” and “Little t” traumas. “Big T” traumas are often significant events or negative childhood experiences, including bullying. “Little t” traumas can be events that seem minor on the surface but leave a lasting impact. Perhaps a comment from someone in your childhood stuck with you, or maybe someone important in your life broke a promise that meant a lot to you. These “Little t” traumas can add up over the course of a lifetime, and before you know it, they can be just as impactful as major traumas.

Many times in my practice, clients will say “It happened so long ago,” or “I don’t see how talking about this event from five years ago is relevant to my current anxiety.” Often, our body holds onto a “Big T” or “Little t” experience, even if we don’t consciously think about it. This is where EMDR therapy may be the key to managing symptoms that haven’t been resolved with other types of talk therapy. Sometimes, unresolved experiences can continue to show up as anxiety or emotional distress later in life. 

how emdr therapy works 

Now, EMDR therapy is not like your traditional CBT or talk therapy. During reprocessing, there may be very little talking, but meaningful change is occurring. EMDR helps locate the roots of anxiety, anger, or other distressing symptoms by engaging working memory. This allows the brain to reprocess “Big T” or “Little t” experiences, and gradually shift them toward an adaptive resolution. During reprocessing, we aim to stay within the window of tolerance or optimal state where memory reconsolidation can occur safely, reducing emotional disturbance over time. This optimal state allows for reprocessing to occur from a grounded, present, and curious perspective.

In a controlled therapeutic environment, bilateral stimulation is the key to reprocessing trauma. For my clients, I typically use a tool with gentle buzzers or lights moving left to right to provide bilateral stimulation. Remember that working memory part of the brain I talked about? Bilateral stimulation helps engage working memory by activating both sides of the brain. Walking, bouncing a basketball, and rocking in a chair are all everyday examples of bilateral stimulation. 

My EMDR approach is client-centered, therapist-directed. That means during reprocessing, I help guide your experience wherever your brain directs us.

I have seen clients struggling with a traumatic event, grief, or childhood experiences report meaningful relief over the course of continued sessions. 

benefits of emdr therapy 

The overall benefits of reprocessing trauma include reducing the SUD, or subjective units of disturbance (0-10 scale) related to that trauma. For example, during your first EMDR session, perhaps the SUD of a distressing memory was a 10. Within a few sessions of reprocessing, many clients notice that their SUD decreases over time, and the goal is to bring that SUD as close to an adaptive 1 or 0 as possible. A traumatic event may never feel like a zero, and that’s okay! However, that traumatic event may shift from a belief of “It was my fault” to “I survived.” 

EMDR isn’t appropriate for every clinical presentation, and it’s important that you feel  adequately prepared prior to reprocessing and seek the guidance of your therapist. In my sessions with clients, my goal is to help bring you symptom relief. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or what has been done to you; what matters is taking the first courageous step to seek help from a curious perspective with a therapist who is a great fit.

When you think of the word “trauma,” I challenge you to not just think of the big-picture traumatic events that most people would agree are disasters, but also consider the little traumas in life that are often overlooked. If you feel like this definition of trauma resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a session with me at Lifeologie Counseling Chandler in Arizona, where we can explore which life experiences have contributed to how you show up on a daily basis, and begin to set goals towards a happier you!

Ready to get started? Fill out this form today or learn more about connecting with me on my counseling page here.

Other resources

Outside Arizona? You can search Lifeologie’s directory of trauma-informed counselors and trained EMDR providers near you to match with the right therapist.

Thinking about trauma therapy, but not ready to start? Check out these blogs below to learn more about EMDR, or find more Lifeologie Counseling mental health resources here. 

So, what’s EMDR?

EMDR therapy in 8 phases

Therapy for different kinds of trauma