You Are Not Your Thoughts: What Mindfulness Really Means

It’s incredibly difficult to navigate the challenges of life or perform at our best when we are constantly being thrown around by racing thoughts, memories of past experiences, or anxieties about uncertain futures.

When we passively listen to these thoughts, we are often left feeling exhausted, unsettled, or alone, and we fail to be present when it matters most. The good news is that we can retrain our brains to stop passively listening, and start intentionally talking to ourselves with a little bit of practice, and a better understanding of what it really means to be mindful, aware, and present.

At their core, mindfulness, awareness, and presence tell us one thing, and ask us one question.

The thing they tell us: You are not your thoughts.

The question they ask: Where are you right now?

mindfulness: understanding that your brain is a liar sometimes

Just like your heart pumps blood and your lungs process oxygen, your brain creates thoughts. You are not the creator of these thoughts, your brain is, and you experience them. When we believe that our thoughts are REALLY us, we might start listening to them without question, and this can lead us astray. Your brain may be inclined to ruminate on the past, or worry about the future, and this is where most of our suffering exists. Our thoughts can unknowingly manipulate the past to affirm negative beliefs about ourselves, deepening depressive patterns. The same goes for the future. Anxiety and hopelessness exist here, in a made-up place where your brain projects present feelings or past experiences forward with judgment and certainty. This can make us feel powerless. Mindfulness is understanding that although these thoughts may feel very logical and protective, they do not necessarily reflect reality. Step one is leaning into the fact that your thoughts and you are very separate.

awareness: noticing when your brain is lying to you and taking action

A practical way to practice awareness with troubling thoughts is to observe each one through this checklist:

1. Where does this thought exist in time?

2. Is it rooted in the past or the future?

3. Does this thought contain elements of judgment or certainty?

By asking yourself these questions, you are saying no to being a passive listener and leaning into the role of active observer and investigator of your thoughts. Remember, our recollections of the past are skewed, and the future is a fantasy land. We cannot be sure of anything that comes from these places. Letting these thoughts influence us is like submitting a scientific research paper based on rumors. These thoughts are not a trustworthy representation of reality.

presence: actively returning to where you are

The only place you REALLY exist is in the present.

The past existed as the present at one point, and the future will eventually become the present, but that time is not now. If you find yourself living in the past or future with certainty and judgment, you can break the cycle of engaging with these thoughts by asking yourself these questions:

• What do you currently see?

• What do you hear?

• What do the surfaces or objects around you feel like?

• Is there a smell in the air?

• Can I breathe deeply? 

Once you are here, in your body and in the present, two more important questions:

• What is life asking of me that is in my immediate control?

• What do I have right now that I can be grateful for?
  
  

Presence means intentionally focusing on the moment in front of you and allowing the process to take place without the unreliable judgment or certainty of the past or future stealing your focus and weighing you down. Reshaping your identity, gaining confidence, deepening a relationship, performing under pressure happens now, with less consideration of what came before or how it could potentially end in disaster. These unhelpful thoughts have no bearing over you unless you invite them in.

Remember, your thoughts are not you; you are the creative, powerful observer. You get to decide where you are and what thoughts are worth listening to.

I help athletes and non-athletes alike stop listening to negative thought patterns and self-doubt, and start talking to themselves with compassion, clarity, and purpose. If these concepts feel relevant to you, I can help by offering practical solutions and expert guidance in retraining the way you interact with your thoughts on a daily basis. Whether it be anxiety, depression, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, low-self esteem, or athletic performance, we can work together to redefine your relationship with the present moment. Reach out to me at Lifeologie Counseling Plano & Richardson in Texas at (214) 556-0996, or find a Lifeologie therapist near you who specializes in helping clients practice mindfulness.