Talking To Your Teen About Sex

As a parent, it’s crucial to create an open, nonjudgmental space for discussing sex and body autonomy with your teen, ensuring they always feel comfortable coming to you with questions or for clarification. While these conversations may feel awkward or intimidating, remember that your teen is looking to you for guidance, and they will follow your lead. Here are a few tips to help you get more comfortable talking about sex with your teen. 

Make the time to talk

Laugh off the "elephant in the room" moments. Avoid any language that could make them feel ashamed or guilty, as sex should be viewed as a healthy and positive way for us to express and understand ourselves. 

Celebrate their initiative and trust in coming to you—this is a learning opportunity for both of you, and it’s something to be applauded, not feared. 

• Start with openness and warmth: Approach the conversation with a loving, non-judgmental tone. Let them know this is a safe space for any questions or feelings they may have.
  
  
• Affirm their autonomy: Remind them that their bodies are their own, and they have the right to set boundaries and make choices about their bodies.
  
  
• Normalize the topic: Make sure they know it’s okay to talk about sex and that it's a normal part of growing up. Frame it as part of a healthy discussion about relationships and self-care.
  
  
• Encourage questions: Let them know it’s totally okay to be curious, unsure, or even confused. Make yourself available to answer questions—there's no rush to figure it all out.
  
  
• Promote respect for themselves and others: Talk about the importance of mutual respect in all relationships. Emphasize the need to always respect others' boundaries and expect the same in return.
  
  
• Emphasize consent: Reinforce that consent is key—both in romantic relationships and in all areas of life. It’s about saying “yes” freely, without pressure, and being confident in saying “no” when needed.
  
  
• Talk about emotional readiness: Make sure they understand that sex isn’t just a physical act but also an emotional experience. Encourage them to check in with themselves about whether they feel ready emotionally, mentally, and physically.
  
  
• Dispel myths: Provide accurate information about sex, relationships, and intimacy. Clarify any misconceptions they may have based on peers, media, or social pressures.
  
  
• Support their self-esteem: Reinforce that their worth is not defined by their appearance or sexual experiences. Encourage them to love and respect their body, no matter what anyone else says.
  
  
• Discuss protection and safety: Have an open conversation about safe sex practices, including the importance of contraception, STI prevention, and how to navigate conversations about safety with a partner.
  
  
• Validate their feelings: Recognize that teens might feel embarrassed or awkward about discussing sex. Let them know that those feelings are normal and it’s okay to feel that way.
  
  

keep the door open

Be patient with your teen. Understand that this conversation might need to happen more than once. Keep the door open for ongoing dialogue and be patient with their evolving understanding of sex and relationships.

By keeping the tone warm, nonjudgmental, and open, you can create a positive space for your teen to feel empowered about their body and their choices. You got this! 

If you need a little help and encouragement finding the right way to talk about sex, or find it difficult to speak openly this way with your children, reach out! As a therapist who specializes in helping both adults and adolescents address issues that can be difficult to discuss, I know how challenging it can be to bring up topics like sex or a painful past with a stranger. But allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a professional therapy space that's also warm and nonjudgmental can lead you to better ways to communicate, cope, and practice self-compassion. Book a session with me at Lifeologie Counseling Dallas or learn more about my approach in my bio or my recent blog about social media anxiety . Outside of Texas, you can search our directory for counseling near you at wefixbrains.com/therapists.